


a record of something new

by luvssjn



Category: Mamamoo
Genre: F/F, Fluff, One Shot, intern yongsun, it's short but it's sweet i promise, moonsun, poor byulyi's alone during christmas, radio host moonbyul, side wheesa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:20:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27244867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luvssjn/pseuds/luvssjn
Summary: It's Christmas, and as always, Byulyi is alone in her studio.[bonus chapter up now!]
Relationships: Kim Yongsun | Solar/Moon Byulyi | Moonbyul
Comments: 18
Kudos: 162





	1. you don't deserve to be alone

She had done this multiple times before.

Byulyi checked the wall clock in front of her. _11:55 PM_. 

"Alright everyone, let's start our countdown! We have five minutes until midnight. Are you all excited?" She spoke into her microphone. 

It was currently December 24, which was Christmas Eve for most people, and Byulyi found herself alone in the recording studio, as always.

While most people her age would probably be drinking with their closest friends in a _noraebang_ or perhaps eating late dinner with their families in a restaurant at a time like this, she was stuck in the same studio she had been working in for the past six years with her cup of half-empty iced americano.

She couldn't say she wasn’t used to it though, since she'd done this multiple times before.

“What’s your favorite thing to do during the holiday season?” She asked her listeners.

Ever since she started working in the radio station, working in the dead hours of the night when most people would most likely be asleep was something she had always been doing. Even when she was promoted from a small-time intern to a permanent radio host and announcer, her slot as the regular nighttime host never changed.

Her senior PDs don’t even bother to ask anymore if she would take a night shift. They just see her sitting in her recording studio, hand her the script and theme of the day, greet her with a smile or a pat in the back, and go home. Byulyi could take it as a blessing since they never ask about why she’s always in the studio more than she’s in her apartment.

She herself wouldn't even know the answer to that question, anyway.

"I think my favorite thing to do during the holidays is to laze around." Byulyi laughed. “I mean, most of us don’t have work on the holidays, right? Then, I can just sleep all day.” She said. 

She caught sight of a listener's comment. “Oh, someone said, _‘Byulyi-unnie, maybe you should get yourself a boyfriend!’_ ” Byulyi laughed awkwardly at that. 

She read the comments more. 

_"Yeah, unnie. You need to let loose! Have some fun!"_

_"It'd be nice to have someone cook for you at the end of the day."_

_"Or maybe just someone you can be with when you're tired!"_

_"A boyfriend!"_

Byulyi laughed again, scratching her nape. "It's nice that you all care about me, but I don’t know about that, everyone. I'm not exactly the type to talk about myself, and my relationships aren't exactly an interesting topic.” She heard someone laugh. It was known knowledge in the station that Byulyi exclusively liked women.

She looked around the studio. It was just her and a few people; mostly interns, who were tasked to keep the radio show running on one of the busiest holidays in the entire year. She felt bad for them; most of the other staff went home to their families to celebrate the holiday but these young adults were stuck with her instead of going out and having fun.

Obviously, Byulyi had no one to go home to as well, so naturally, she stayed in the radio station to accompany her listeners, who, like her, likely had no one during Christmas too.

However, though she had been doing this for six years now, she couldn't deny that her heart sank every time Christmas would arrive and she had no one to be with for yet another year.

Byulyi has had relationships before, but none of them were serious. Though she can be greasy and flirty with other women and strike up a conversation pretty easily, she never really found herself fully committing to someone. 

The thought made Byulyi shake her head in disbelief. She always complained about not having someone during the holidays, yet she never went out of her way to actually find someone to be with.

_“You’re such a workaholic, really.”_ She remembered one of her friends, Wheein, telling her one day. 

_“Yeah, unnie, that’s why you’re always alone during the holidays.”_ Hyejin, another one of her friends and also Wheein’s girlfriend, added.

_“You don’t have to call me out.”_ Byulyi rolled her eyes at them.

_“But when we tell you that you can always come and hang out with us for Christmas, you never do. You always say that you're busy, but in reality, it's just you and your studio again."_ Wheein pointed out.

_"But it's my work, though?"_ Byulyi said.

_"Unnie, I swear you're married to your microphone.”_ Hyejin said.

As much as she hated it, Byulyi had to admit that her friends were right.

Whenever her listeners would tell her that they were drinking with friends, eating with family, or finally spending the godforsaken holiday with a lover, Byulyi couldn’t help but feel envious.

Her Christmas only included her graveyard shift in the radio station, going home in the early morning, sleeping until the afternoon, waking up, and ordering her late lunch. It was just like every other workday. No planned hang-outs with friends, dates with lovers, or even hearty meals with family. It was just her in her lonely apartment.

Maybe she should get a dog.

"Everyone, we only have 10 seconds until Christmas! Let’s do the final countdown!” Byulyi spoke enthusiastically into the microphone. “Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one! Merry Christmas everyone!" She cheered as she started to play a Christmas song.

"Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to our dear listeners. Spend the days with your family and friends, enjoy your presents from gift-giving, and of course, rest well!" She added.

The radio ended 20 minutes later. 

After saying her final goodbyes and announcements, Byulyi took off her headphones, greeted the few interns in the room with _"Merry Christmas, you've done well. You can go home now,"_ and checked her phone. She saw that some of her friends messaged her for Christmas—Hyejin, Wheein, Seulgi, and a few other workmates.

She opened Hyejin and Wheein’s messages. 

**_Wheein_ **

_Unnieeee! Merry Christmas! We know you’re doing your nighttime routine shift AGAIN. Hehe. Hyejin made this really delicious mooncake, you HAVE to come by and try it! We love you~_

Byulyi opened the image attached and saw Hyejin’s masterpiece. It was a small cake decorated with what she assumed was homemade frosting with the words "Merry Christmas!" in Hyejin's attempt of cursive letters. 

**_Hyejin_ **

_Byul-unnie! Merry Christmas! Seriously, you should come and spend Christmas with us. It's always fun when you're around. Come by sometime! Wheein and I miss you. We love you!_

Byulyi smiled and quickly replied to them with a greeting of her own and checked her Instagram. Of course, her friends from college and even her workmates had their own special way of celebrating Christmas. She saw Wheein and Hyejin's post with the cake, Seulgi drinking with her friends, Naeun with her family, and others. 

She set her phone down. The interns already left. She always volunteered to leave last in the studio so she'd have some time for herself. She considered cleaning up her studio as therapeutic. God, she sounded like a grandma already at 28-years-old.

Then came a knock. Byulyi thought it was another intern who was going to ask for permission to leave, until—

"Byulyi?"

She then looked up, shocked to see the girl still in front of her. "Yongsun-ssi?"

Yongsun was another one of the radio station’s interns, though she’s a year older than Byulyi. She had only been working in the station for a good few months, and her credentials were good. She previously worked with a different station until she decided to move to the station where Byulyi worked.

Byulyi suddenly stood up. "Why are you still here? Didn't your shift end an hour ago?" 

Indeed, Yongsun was standing in the studio’s doorway, a plastic bag in both of her hands with a sheepish smile.

The older girl looked down in faint shyness. "I know. But I noticed that you're always alone, and it's Christmas today. So, I bought some _samgyeopsal_ , so we can eat together."

Byulyi could only look at the older girl in front of her, mouth agape.

Yongsun didn't necessarily work alongside Byulyi, since the older girl was an intern to the resident announcer of their studio, but they had already interacted outside of Byulyi’s studio and shared a few instances of banter and subtle flirting.

Yongsun was so easy to talk to, and Byulyi particularly found her smile pretty. 

She only kept her eyes on the older girl for a while, but never really did anything about it.

So, this small gesture panicked, yet moved Byulyi.

Byulyi put her hand on her chin. "Shouldn't you be home already? It would suck to know that you stayed here and missed Christmas with your friends just because you bought me food."

Yongsun laughed softly and fully entered Byulyi’s studio, setting the plastic bag with the food on the table. "I don't mind." She now sat beside the younger girl. "You don't deserve to be alone during Christmas."

Yongsun's words took Byulyi aback, but she held herself. "So you'll accompany me on every Christmas from now on, then?" She asked with a smirk. Yongsun blushed and slapped the younger girl on the shoulder.

"Don't be like that, or else I'll take the food back." She said jokingly. 

Byulyi's eyes widened. “No! Don’t take the food!” She said childishly. Then, the two of them laughed for a good few minutes. Byulyi didn’t remember the last time she laughed with someone she barely knew like this before.

"I'm just kidding, Yongsun-unnie. Thank you for all of this. No one has ever done this for me before." Byulyi said, putting her hand on top of Yongsun's. They locked eyes for a few seconds until they realized what they were doing and looked away with a blush forming on their cheeks.

Embarrassed, Yongsun said, "Uh, yeah, you'll have to pay me back for all this." She focused her attention on taking out the food from the containers.

Byulyi tapped her chin with a finger and pretended to think, but she already had something in mind.

"Then,” She announced. “I'll treat you to dinner sometime." 

Yongsun looked at Byulyi and slightly tilted her head. "Are you asking me out on a date, Miss Moon?" She handed the younger girl the container filled with rice and lettuce.

Byulyi took it. "If you look at it that way, then yes, I am asking you out on a date, Miss Kim." She replied with a wink.

Heat slowly rose again into Yongsun's cheeks. She looked at Byulyi for a few moments and replied. "Sure, then."

The two opened the containers and started to eat the savory _samgyeopsal_ together with the various side dishes and kimchi. Byulyi had never felt this content during Christmas.

“Kimchi?” Byulyi offered.

“Of course. A meal is never complete without kimchi.” Yongsun said, taking the serving of kimchi from Byulyi.

Byulyi—rather, the ever-so kimchi loving Byulyi—laughed again. “Slow down, Yong. I might fall for you.” She said and they both laughed.

They continued eating and Byulyi looked at the older girl beside her, who was happily eating and talking about some embarrassing moments during her first months in the radio station.

“And then Chorong was like, _‘How did you misplace it?’_ She definitely knew that Miss Jang would be so mad at me, and she really did! I was so scared and embarrassed.” Yongsun recounted her story to Byulyi, putting her hands on her face.

Byulyi laughed. "She's always a terror to the interns, anyway. But she's sort of kind when you get on her good side." 

"I guess her good side is still a little cold." Yongsun shrugged with a smile.

Byulyi opened a can of beer—courtesy of the older girl, of course—and clinked it with Yongsun's can of soda, since she mentioned that she couldn’t handle her alcohol.

"Merry Christmas, Yongsun." Byulyi smiled. 

"Merry Christmas, Byul." Yongsun returned her smile.

While the two ate in Byulyi’s relatively small recording studio, laughing and sharing stories, Byulyi realized that she’d never felt at peace and home in the place she only considered as her workspace. 

Then, she looked at Yongsun. Slowly, a small smile made its way to her lips.

Maybe this could be the start of something new.


	2. you’re a miracle (bonus)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i contemplated whether i should still post this or not, since christmas was weeks ago, but it's here anyway. 
> 
> i was greatly inspired to write this in a whim after yong's surprise to byul during her bday on avengirls. hope you still enjoy it <3 a late merry christmas and happy new year!

_2 years later_

_3 days before Christmas._   
  


"Byulyi unnie!" The senior radio host heard her name being called from afar as she entered the radio station for another busy workday. She turned her head to the voice and saw Soojin, one of the newest interns, approach her.

"Hey, Soojin. What's up?" Byulyi, with her hand resting on the strap of her handbag, looked at the hurried intern who was still checking the clipboard on her hand.

"Sandeul-nim wanted me to confirm that you're not hosting the Christmas special this year?" Soojin asked.

Byulyi nodded, shifting her weight from her left leg to her right. "Ah, yes. I'm going to pass this time. If I'm correct, you're replacing me to host this year, right?" She asked the intern.

Soojin nodded with a shy smile. "Yes. It's actually my first time." 

The radio host returned the smile, a warmer one from a senior to a junior. "It must be a special one, then. Make sure to make it lively and fun, I think all my past Christmas specials were too boring." They both shared a laugh.

Soojin made a motion that she was leaving. "Thank you, unnie. I'll pass it on to Sandeul-nim." Then, the younger one turned to leave.

Greeting a few other colleagues and new faces—probably interns again—Byulyi then went straight to her studio, placing her bag on the table softly. She sat on her swivel chair and took a sip of her iced americano before reading the script on the table.

"Ask the listeners to send in what they're grateful for during this year." Byulyi mumbled to herself. "Typical and overused, but still necessary." She shrugged.

As if on cue, she heard her phone vibrate from the table. She mindlessly grabbed it and checked the notification.

A text message from Yongsun. 

**Yong-ddunnie**

Byul-ah! Are you in the studio already?

A smile quickly made its way to her face.

She looked at her phone's wallpaper, a photo of Yongsun in her pajamas holding her favorite bunny plushie—which she hilariously named as Moonstar Bunny—with a huge smile on her face.

"Things you're grateful for..." She found herself whispering.

It had been two years since she and Yongsun started to get to know each other after the Christmas night that didn't turn out to be lonely after all. 

Two years of endless banter, cooking half-edible meals for each other, going on both planned and spontaneous trips around Seoul (since Yongsun loved playing tour guide), playing any random game that Byulyi discovered, practically living together in the older woman's house, and more.

The two quickly became inseparable and close, never wanting to leave the other and always being each other's first person to call for practically anything.

They always kept it professional at work though— _try not to be obvious, since we're still colleagues_ , they said—but it wasn't long until their workmates started to notice the growing closeness and intimacy between the two.

Some chose to ignore it while others acknowledged it, but their closer friends—Sandeul, Chorong, others—began teasing them about it.

 _"You two act like a married couple sometimes. You sure you're not married?"_ Sandeul asked one day while he was on his break and decided to crash by Byulyi's studio while she was working on some documents.

Byulyi almost choked on her americano. _"We're not. We're just... friends."_ She said, trying to push finality into her tone.

Still, Sandeul was persistent. _"Sure."_ He let out a snicker accompanied by a teasing grin.

 _"Shut up, Sandeul."_ Byulyi rolled her eyes and went back to her work.

Yongsun quickly took up a huge part in Byulyi's life, and when she introduced the older woman to Wheein and Hyejin, she was relieved at how fast they all got along. Yongsun was warmly welcomed into their friendship group and fit right in with them, as if the four of them were always meant to be together. 

The two even teased her that day, nudging her with a teasing smile, _"Now you have someone to spend your lonely Christmases with."_

She only shoved them after that, but deep down, she was somewhat hopeful.

But the thing was, Byulyi still spent the next Christmases alone in those two years, continuing on with her years-long routine of being the host for the annual Christmas special. Of course, much to the two younger girls' dismay.

She let Yongsun spend Christmas with her family while she, well, as always, spend it alone in her studio.

Despite the two of them obviously being flirty with each other and being aware that they like each other, neither of them had seriously made a move to sit down and talk about it. 

Sure, there were dinner dates, lunch dates, and any other kinds of dates, but there wasn't anything official.

There was _something_ going on between the two of them, but they never really acknowledged it. Though Byulyi had to admit that there had been a number of instances when she just desperately wanted to kiss Yongsun, she had to decide against it though it had been eating at her stomach. She didn't want to risk it.

But as the months turned into a year and then two, Byulyi started to become more restless.

It was gnawing at her like something that wanted to be released from a cage so badly; she figured, it was her feelings desperately wanting to be made known. 

Being with Yongsun definitely made her happy and at ease like most close friends do, but she knew that there was a thin and invisible line between them that was borderline platonic and romantic, just waiting to be crossed by either one of them. But none of them dared to.

It drove Byulyi crazy.

Since Christmas was fast approaching, she decided to finally take a break from hosting on the night of the 24th of December and simply enjoy Christmas Eve the way she should have the past years.

Maybe she'd still be alone celebrating in her apartment or crash at a close friend's party and drink until she passed out, she didn't know which, but all she just wanted now was to forget the devastating feeling of wanting something so bad but having to hold back.

**Byul-fart**

Yup. Just arrived. 

**Yong-ddunnie**

Let me guess. Things you're grateful for?

Byulyi raised an eyebrow. _What was she talking about?_ A quick glance at the paper she was reading gave her the answer and she let out a small chuckle. _Of course._

**Byul-fart**

Don't tell me you were the one who made the script for today.

**Yong-ddunnie**

Then I won't tell.

**Byul-fart**

Just kidding!

**Yong-ddunnie**

You're not going to praise me? Is the script bad, then?

**Byul-fart**

Unnie 🙄

**Yong-ddunnie**

Fine, then it's bad 😒

**Byul-fart**

Unnie! You know it's good, you just want me to compliment you. 

**Byul-fart**

_Typing ..._

**Byul-fart**

Besides, you don't even have to ask me, I'd compliment you everyday. 

She debated on adding the last message, but decided on sending it anyway. 

**Yong-ddunnie**

🙄🙄 You're so predictable, Moon.

**Byul-fart**

Treat me to food, then. You don't have a choice anyway 😜

**Yong-ddunnie**

😒😒😒

**Yong-ddunnie**

_Typing ..._

**Yong-ddunnie**

You're lucky I love you.

As Byulyi read Yongsun's last text message, her heart began to race at an abnormal pace, suddenly drumming at her chest. The gnawing feeling was back, stronger than ever. She desperately tried to ignore it.

 _Stop putting meaning into everything, Byulyi._ She told herself.

**Byul-fart**

I am. 😊

—

Byulyi's day went by like a breeze, just as most of her workdays were. 

She hosted her regular morning programs, attended meetings, did some paperwork, mentored the new interns, and even managed to squeeze in a little coffee with Wheein and Hyejin during her lunch break.

Her day was going by smoothly—maybe a little too smoothly.

"Where's Yongsun unnie?" Wheein asked as soon as Byulyi settled into the chair in front of them. The three of them met at a nearby café just a walking distance from the radio station. 

"Straight to the point, I see." Byulyi took a sip of the americano—the only coffee she ever drank, really—and looked at the younger girls. 

"I was just asking!" Wheein laughed. The two younger girls never gave up the agenda of playing 'cupid' between Yongsun and Byulyi. 

"Well, she's at the station. She said she still had some work to finish before Christmas and she packed lunch from leftover food we ordered last night." Byulyi replied.

"You two like working so much." Hyejin said, jokingly rolling her eyes.

"Why are we even surprised about that, Hyejin? The two are practically soulmates." Wheein replied.

"Hey!"

The three spent an hour catching up on their individual lives and telling each other stories before Byulyi had to go back to the station before her break ended.

"Oh, unnie, what are you planning for Christmas?" Hyejin asked.

"I don't really know, I never really thought about it. Maybe I'll just order food and drink? Seulgi mentioned she's throwing a party, so I'm considering that too." Byulyi replied.

"Why not ask Yongsun unnie to spend Christmas with you?" Hyejin suggested.

A hum. "But she spends Christmas with her family, though."

"Fair point. It's three days until Christmas, so maybe she already made her own plans." Wheein interjected.

"Yeah, and why would she spend her Christmas with me- I swear to God if this is the two of you trying to win a bet or something!" Byulyi groaned.

"We're not!" Wheein defended, raising her arms a little bit while laughing.

"But seriously, unnie, why can't you just ask her out?" Hyejin asked again.

Byulyi groaned again. "I'm going back to the station. Bye, I love you both!" Avoiding the topic again as much as possible, she quickly walked away from the two young girls with a wave.

"See you soon, unnie! We love you!" Wheein and Hyejin greeted her as she left.

After a quick walk, Byulyi was back at the station, carrying her unfinished americano and hot tea for Yongsun. Thinking that the older woman would still be working, she checked the studio and saw it empty, which slightly confused her. 

"She said was going to be working all lunch. Guess she finished early." Byulyi shrugged.

Right then, she saw Chorong near the photocopying machine. Byulyi approached her colleague. "Hey, Chorong unnie. Is Yongsun unnie already done with her work?"

Chorong looked up, a little surprised to see the younger girl in front of her. "Oh hi, Byul." She said with a small smile. "I didn't expect you to be back so soon. Yongsun went out for a bit to grab something. She'll be back soon."

Byulyi nodded. "Then, can you give this to her for me instead? I thought she'd still be in her studio, but I have a schedule in 5 minutes already." She handed Chorong the cup of hot tea. 

Chorong took the cup. "Sure, I'll just give it to her when she's back. Thanks, Byul." After the conversation, Byulyi thanked her and left for her studio.

She busied herself with work for the rest of the day, only sending a few text updates to Yongsun, who she realized she has not seen for the entire day.

Now that Byulyi actually thought about it, she started to wonder since Yongsun would usually visit her on short breaks. 

_Maybe she's just too busy, pre-Christmas work and all. Besides, it's good so you won't think about her much, right?_

The gnawing feeling was still there, though. 

It was now approaching nighttime, and she was about to start her last program for the day.

"Good evening, Seoul! How are we doing today? I'm Byulyi, your host for 8PM Table Talks. Today, we talk about 'Things you're grateful for'! Be nice, everyone, a very good friend of mine came up with this theme." Byulyi started. 

"Send in your entries and tell me all about the things you're thankful for this year. The year is slowly ending, so let's end it on a bright note." She spoke into her microphone.

As soon as she said this, her tablet started to light up with messages and comments from the listeners.

"We're already receiving your entries... these are all beautiful, everyone." She scrolled through the messages, reading some of them by eye and some of them out loud.

" _'I'm thankful for my friends, since they always have my back and keep me grounded._ ' This listener said this." Byulyi read out.

"Indeed, true friends have your back at all times." She remembered her closest friends—Wheein, Hyejin, Seulgi, Sandeul—who she knows she can always count on. "They're not only there on days when you're happy and fun, but also on days when you're sad and lonely. They keep you up, but also call out your mistakes so you can grow into a better person." 

" _'My family'_ , another listener said." Byulyi spoke. "Families come in all shapes and sizes. Even your friends can be your family. Family is what you consider as your home, your refuge, your shelter, and your comfort. For me, my family consists of my parents, my grandparents, my sisters, and of course my own friends too. I think of them as my home, as what all families should be. I'm also thankful for them." 

Byulyi continued on reading comments and messages and came across ones like _"My English teacher, because she's cute," "My dog for never leaving my side," "My coach for pushing me to be the best," "My boyfriend,"_ and many more.

Then a new message popped up, catching her eye instantly. "There's another one! _'The thing I'm grateful for is you.'_ " Byulyi read out, a little confused at the message.

" _'You'_?" She asked until she realized what it said. "Ah, me? You're grateful for me? Is someone flirting with me in the comments or something?" She laughed as she scratched her neck. 

The same person commented again. " _'I'm thankful for you because you're a miracle.'_ " Byul read out, blush slowly heating up her cheeks.

"That's next level there." She laughed. "I—thank you, 02YS21-nim. I don't really know what to say."

She read the comment again, trying to find a clue on who it was. The username was just a mix of letters and numbers, though.

"So, this person is thankful for me. I definitely didn't expect this type of comment, but I do agree that we should at least be thankful for ourselves, too. This year may have been tough for most of us and we should be happy and proud of ourselves for making it this far." She said. The comment section was filled with her listeners agreeing with her and telling her _'Thank you for your wise words!'_

She flipped the script to the next page and saw it say _‘Close your eyes.’_

Confused yet again, she looked at the staff who only gestured for her to follow and close her eyes.

"Close my eyes? All of a sudden?" She was undeniably puzzled. 

_What was Yongsun up to in that script?_ She said to herself.

She sent questioning eyes to the staff around her but they all simply motioned for her to follow them.

"Okay, I'm closing my eyes, then. I wonder what the staff is planning. You're not pranking me right? Or kidnapping me? We're live right now, so that's impossible." She said as she closed her eyes. She heard the other interns laugh at her words. 

Byulyi could only make out sounds, and there were a few seconds of silence until she heard slight rustling and bustling in front of her.

"Oh, oh, what is that? Is that plastic? Guys, are you seriously going to kidnap me right now?" The last sentence was a lighthearted joke; however, Byulyi was still incredibly curious.

When the rustling sound stopped for a moment, Byulyi opened her eyes and saw—lo and behold—Yongsun standing in front of her with a cake on her hands.

"Happy birthday to you!" Suddenly, the room erupted with cheers and party streamers, all led by Yongsun, of course.

The music was switched to playing a 'Happy Birthday' song, and all the staff around her joined in to sing.

"Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday, dear Byulyi! Happy birthday to you!" They all chanted and sang while Yongsun leaned nearer the younger girl to hand her the cake.

"What is this?" Byulyi said in genuine surprise. She turned to Yongsun, whose eyes turned into crescent moons at how wide she was smiling. "Unnie, what is this?"

"Did you think we'd forget your birthday today?" Yongsun laughed. 

"Actually, I was starting to think that today was yesterday because nobody including you greeted me," Byulyi said. Apart from Yongsun, some of her closest colleagues were also there—Sandeul, Chorong, Hani, Dahee—greeting and singing with a wide smile.

"Well, did we surprise you then?" Yongsun asked. 

"Yeah, you did. Thank you so much, guys." Still holding onto the birthday cake, Byulyi sincerely thanked them. She was grateful—and lucky—to have people who cared about her like them.

"You're always so busy," Yongsun started. "you treat work as if it's your entire life. Your birthday isn't even an exception. You work so hard, so I figured we'd do something to show our gratitude to you. We're thankful for you, Byul-ah. You're a miracle."

Byulyi's heart instantly both raced and warmed at Yongsun's words. She felt the gnawing feeling in her stomach grow stronger and wilder than ever.

"You planned all this? So it was you who sent me that last message too?" She asked, suspicion and anticipation rising. "Don't tell me it was you."

"Then I won't." Yongsun repeated for the second time that day, this time in person, with a grin still on her face. Byulyi's suspicions were confirmed. From Yongsun writing the script, not joining for lunch when she would never have leftover work, not being in her studio when Byul came back, Chorong being surprised, not seeing her the entire day, to the anonymous messages.

_The thing I'm grateful for is you._

_You're lucky I love you._

She almost wanted to kiss her right there and then.

—

As she greeted her last colleague goodbye for the night, it was her and Yongsun alone in the station again.

"I really can't believe you planned this for me. I know I may jokingly ask you for stuff, but this was a surprise." Byulyi leaned on Yongsun's desk as she watched the older woman clean up things in her studio.

"Please, it wasn't even that much." She was smiling shyly.

Byulyi lifted a brow. "Really? What do you consider as a big surprise, then?" She flashed her a small smirk.

A stack of papers into a canvas bag. Yongsun hummed. "If I told you, then it wouldn't be a surprise anymore." She looked up and the two held brief eye contact. 

There were a few seconds of silence between the two of them. Suddenly, the waters Byulyi was trudging felt a little unfamiliar. Usually they would all be witty banter with laughter; seriousness but not quite.

But after a sudden realization during Yongsun's birthday surprise, there was a little bit of unnamed tension in the air waiting to be acknowledged.

 _Just say **something.**_ Byulyi begged herself while still looking at Yongsun's figure fixing papers in her cabinet.

"Thank you, Ddun." The informal endearment rolled off of Byulyi's tongue like silk. "No one has ever done something like this for me, so this means a lot to me, it really does." 

Yongsun stopped what she was doing and turned to look at Byulyi. Their eyes locked for a moment and Byul felt as if she was transported to Christmas Eve two years ago.

The older woman had just bought her dinner then to accompany her on the lonely night. She had no idea it would turn into more dinners on much warmer nights, learning how Yongsun truly lived up to her name of being a sun.

"You know I'd do anything for you." Yongsun mumbled softly, almost too soft for Byulyi to catch if they weren't in such a quiet room.

Her words were so soft, and so _honest_. Perhaps, the most vulnerable Byulyi had ever seen her be. As much as that simple sentence could be interpreted in many ways, her eyes conveyed feelings to Byul more than her words could ever say.

It fascinated the younger woman, honestly. How eye contact could hold so much meaning between the two of them. How a look could become a whole conversation only they can read, reserved for only her and Yongsun.

A start of something new, indeed. Something scary, something crazy, but something so beautiful and special she didn't want to lose even just a second of it.

Yongsun was the sun. _Her sun._ Her light.

That instant, they both dropped their masks and it showed them all they needed to know.

Something clicked inside of her brain, like a lever opening an entire dam.

Byulyi swiftly stood up from the desk and made her way over to Yongsun near the cabinet.

And she kissed her.

It was urgent but still soft; almost like it was fragile, like they were being careful. Soft lips upon soft lips, Byulyi could taste the lip balm she gifted Yongsun on her own lips and it drove her close to the edge.

_What were you so afraid of?_

Yongsun immediately locked her arms on the back of Byulyi's neck and she found herself pulling the older woman closer to her. The gnawing feeling in her stomach, Byul realized now, was fire desperately aching to be close to Yongsun. _Closer,_ it said. _Closer._

_Were you afraid of loneliness?_

Letting go of any previous hesitation, they let themselves _feel_ each other. The kiss then became fervent, filled with the fire that erupted in both of their stomachs. Any unsaid words and any hidden emotions were bared out in a mash of clashing teeth, twisting tongues and heavy breaths—as if they have never been kissed before in their life.

It was bliss. It was heaven. It was intoxicating. Yongsun's lips fit right into Byulyi's like a glove, as if they were always made for each other. 

_Or were you afraid of risking for something new?_

The taste of Yongsun drove Byulyi mad. It felt like relief; letting go of everything she had been holding back the moment she closed the distance between them.

_You'll never be alone now._

When they breathlessly pulled away, Yongsun's lips were swollen and her lipstick was smudged on Byulyi's mouth and it felt right. It was right. Yongsun was right.

The older woman was the first to break the silence. "That... that was..." She whispered, unable to finish her words but Byulyi still understood all the same. She was out of breath and her hands were still clinging on to the taller woman's shoulders.

Byulyi, also breathless, let out a laugh. "What a birthday."

The older woman laughed. "Happy birthday, Byul-ah." She looked up at Byul with endearing eyes. 

"I can't believe you sometimes, Yong. You make turning 30 the best." Byulyi whispered softly, resting her forehead on Yongsun's. "Promise me you'll still be here for the next ones." 

The woman in her arms laughed again. "Is this your way of asking me to be your girlfriend?" 

Byulyi nodded. "Yes. Only if you want to."

"Of course I want to." This time, it was Yongsun who placed her lips on Byul's.

When the two left the station for Yongsun's apartment later that night, Byulyi never felt more at peace and at home in her life.

She looked over to Yongsun, who was sitting in her passenger seat and jamming out to BoA with energy not normal for someone staying up so late at night, and she felt thankful.

"Yong." Byulyi called. 

"Hm?" Yongsun responded, still singing along to the music.

"Do you want to spend Christmas with me?" Byulyi spoke over the music.

At an instant, Yongsun stopped her singing and looked at the driving woman. "Me?"

"Yeah. Only if you want to." Her eyes were still focused on the road, but she could see Yongsun's reaction in her peripheral vision. 

"I'm not asking you to drop your other plans if you already made any. It's just... it's my first time not working during a Christmas and I'd love to spend it with you." Byul added while sneaking a glance. 

A few seconds of thinking, then Yongsun smiled. "Actually, I've just been waiting for you to ask. Of course, I'll spend it with you." She placed her hand on Byul's who was resting on the gearshift. 

For the nth time that night, Byulyi felt like she was in heaven again.

—

When the couple told their closest friends about their newly formed relationship, the reactions were mostly _"Took you long enough!", "Finally, we were getting tired of you two just longingly staring at each other!"_ , and a 50,000 KRW bet by Hyejin and Wheein— to which Hyejin won.

Byulyi and Yongsun were happy that it was received positively by the people in their lives.

The day was finally the 24th of December and the two were at their best spirits. It was their first ever Christmas together.

They were planning on spending it in Byulyi's apartment, where she lived alone, so the two could celebrate by themselves.

The younger girl was planning on cooking a nice dinner for her and Yongsun, though she had no idea and experience on cooking food. But it was her first time spending Christmas with Yongsun, and she wanted to make an effort for it and not rely on take-outs.

"Are you sure you're going to cook?" From her spot on the couch, Yongsun raised an eyebrow at Byulyi, who was trying—the very least—to figure out the kitchen. "I'm the guest and you should rest."

"You're not a guest, you're my girlfriend. And don't doubt my cooking abilities, unnie." Byulyi pouted. 

Yongsun shifted to look at the younger girl. "I'm not doubting, Byul. But, you know, I've tasted your cooking before." She looked like she had war flashbacks.

"And? They were good, right?" Byul grabbed the saucepan.

"Well, last time you mistook the salt for sugar." 

"And I managed to salvage it, still!"

Yongsun chuckled. There was no point in arguing with Byulyi. "Fine, then. I'll trust whatever you'll cook."

"Does risotto sound nice for you?" With her ingredients and instructions ready, Byulyi opened the stove.

"As long as it's edible."

"How bad can it be?" 

Hours later, the risotto did not sound nice at all. Neither did it look or taste nice.

It was way too wet, way too salty, and it looked more like soup than a rice dish.

Yongsun was laughing at Byulyi. 

"Stop laughing!" But the younger woman couldn't help but laugh along either.

"How could you fail so miserably, Byul-ah?" Yongsun was full on half-laughing, half-screeching now.

"I had no idea it would be this hard! I followed the instructions!" Byulyi then frowned. She really wanted to make this dinner a nice one. It was just that she was just bad at cooking.

Yongsun noticed Byul's frown and immediately stood up from her spot on the couch and made her way to the younger woman.

"Hey." She placed her arms around Byulyi's waist. "It's okay. We can just cook kimchi fried rice and order take-out. I don't mind."

Byul turned around to look at her girlfriend. "I'm sorry, Ddun. I really wanted to make this dinner special."

Yongsun melted. "It's okay. Anything is special as long as it's with you." The two shared a smile.

"When did you become so cheesy?" Byulyi teasingly smiled. The banter started again. The older woman slapped her shoulder.

"Please, you like it anyway." She rolled her eyes.

"Can't say I don't." Byulyi winked and started to clear the kitchen.

For the duration of the day, they lounged in their pajamas watching Netflix shows on Byul's couch, bodies close and legs intertwined. It wasn't like anything they hadn't done before, but this time it felt different.

When nighttime arrived, the two dressed up a little for the occasion and ended up doing what Yongsun said for dinner; a nice plateful of Yong's kimchi fried rice (with a lot of kimchi) and an order of _samgyeopsal_ and risotto to compensate for Byulyi's ruined attempt.

They videocalled with Wheein and Hyejin for a bit, exchanging their own wishes as well as plans when the two younger ones get back from Jeonju.

They shared good food, different stories, lots of laughter, never-ending banter, more kisses, and of course, happiness. It was undoubtedly one of their best Christmas celebrations ever.

"A toast?" Yongsun raised her glass of champagne. Byulyi also raised hers.

"Merry Christmas, Ddun."

"Merry Christmas, Byul."

When Byulyi was asked about Christmas, she never really put any meaning into it. It was a holiday she never spent with anyone, so she only worked alone in her studio.

But the woman in front of her changed her entire meaning for Christmas since that fateful night two years ago. 

Now Christmas was familiar. It was new. It was home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i *tried* writing a kiss scene and some fluff and i think i'm bad at it. anyway, thank you for enjoying this little one-shot 😁


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